How fanfiction is made
by Lamia Nicolette
Summary: Like the title says, this is the process of storming up an idea for a couple in fanfiction. Warning hints of straight, slash and everything inbetween!


Person 1: "What if Voldemort rapes Hermionie?" Person 2: "Nah. But instead of Hagrid and Dumbledore, what about Hagrid and Sprout?" Person 1: "What about a Hat Trick? Person 2: "Hat Trick?" Person 1: "Hat - Trick" Person 2: "I think I have an ulcer" Person 1: "Ewwwwww" Person 2: "Dobby and Hagrid"  
Person 1: *Thinks: That's a good sex kill, but I've got a better one*  
No! Dobby and Flitwick!"  
Person 2: "Dobby and Dumbledore with Minerva Mcgonagall"  
Person 1: "Ron raping Hermionie"  
Person 2: "It is an ulcer!"  
Person 1: "Draco Malfoy gets raped by Dumbledore in AU"  
Person 2: "No, by Ginny!"  
Person 1: "Vise Versa. Then They Fall in love."  
Person 2: "Hagrid and Narcissa"  
Person 1: *Doing her best impression of Narcissa*"Hagrid, go a little  
slower . . . It hurts!"  
Person 2: "No! It would be 'Hagrid! Go faster Goddammit!'"  
Person 1: "A whole Hogwarts Fuck Quest!"  
Person 2: "In the Grand Hall!"  
Person 1: "And Dumbledore slams Mcgonagall against the wall!"  
Person 2: "It really is an ulcer!"  
Person 1: Does it smell like fish and taste like chicken?"  
Person 2: "Huh? NO!"  
Person 1: *LAUGHS*  
Person 2: "When you laugh you sound like a donkey"  
Person 1: Narcissa would sound like a donkey with Hagrid"  
Person 2: "I think his beard would get in the way"  
Person 1: "Which one?"  
Person 2: "How do you get ulcers?"  
Person 1: "I don't know"  
Person 2: "I have an ulcer- and I hate it!"  
Person 1: "One- you've made that quite obvious and two- What about the  
fictional characters with their real life counterparts?"  
Person 2: "Lucious and Petunia!"  
Person 1: "Did you know that Lucious was the name of a pope?"  
Person 2: "Ohhhhhh . . . Naughty naughty Lucious . . ."  
In Unison: *LAUGHES*  
Person 1: *Still recovering from giggles* "Voldemort, Severous and a  
jar of peanut butter"  
Person 2: "Hmmmmm . . . yum yum"  
Person 1: "Whoa"  
Person 2: "The peanut butter!"  
Person 1: "Ohhhhhh"  
Person 2: "That pizza looks like Dobbys ass"  
Person 1: "Why are you having sexual thoughts about Dobby? Oh"  
Person 2: "Ewwww!"  
Person 1: "Ron can rape Cho Chang"  
Person 2: "Cho Chang can rape Harry"  
Person 1: "What if Dumbledore did it with Snape?"  
Person 2: "Ewwww!"  
Person 1: "Maybe not. After all Dumbledore would need too much Viagra"  
Person 2: "What about Harry has a twin brother and his brother is -"  
Person 1: "You do realize that not only would every charcter of JK's  
world would have lost their virginity at this point but that they also  
whould have a passel of annoying infants and toddlers, not to mention  
the black wedding drsses"  
Person 2: "Black as in the color or the person?"  
Person 1: "The second one has some interesting qualities . . ."  
Person 2: *CRACKS UP*  
Person 1: "Professor Binns and Dumbledore"  
Person 2: "That would be interesting . . . ."  
Person 1: "What about a type of logo name?"  
Person 2: "Huh?"  
Person 1: "Like the 'Lucious Lickers' or something"  
Person 2: "No, he looks too much like a girl"  
Person 1: "What about 'The Dumbledore Ding-dongs'"  
Person 2: "Harry's Hangovers"  
Person 1: "Harry's Whores"  
Person 2: "Sexy Slytherins"  
Person 1: "Horny Huffelpuffs"  
Person 2: "Grabby Gryffendors"  
Person 1: "Over - Sexed Slytherins"  
Person 2: "Sadistic Slytherins"  
Person 1: "Raunchy Ravenclaws"  
Person 2: "Sex Gods of Slytherin"  
Person 1: "Polie - Polie Ravenclaws"  
Person 2: "Sperm Doner Slyhterins"  
Person 1: "Gryffendor Gungpow"  
Person 2: "Great Sex Gryffendors"  
Person 1: "*Moaning* Myrtle"  
Person 2: "Instead of 'doom - and - gloom' Trelwany, what about 'moan  
- and -groan' Trelawny?"  
Person 1: "Ewwww"  
Person 2: "I just thought of something"  
Person 1: "What?"  
Person 2: "*Head* of House"  
Person 1: "Brittany Spears and Hagrid"  
Person 2: "SPEAR BRITTANY!"  
Person 1: "Whoa! Where'd that come from?!" Person 2: "You don't wanna know"  
Person 1: "A game of strip poker where Dumbledore shows up"  
Person 2: "Dumbledore and a dolly!"  
Person 1: "We're so dirty minded"  
Person 2: "* A Not - Quite - But - Almost Repressed Snicker* I know" 


End file.
